


Ink, Paper

by lasvegas_lights



Series: Drinks and Drumming [6]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 12:36:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13481619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lasvegas_lights/pseuds/lasvegas_lights
Summary: Takes place a couple of months after Gasoline, Ignited. Martin's over protective sister comes to town after two years absence and tries to make trouble for Martin and Amanda.





	Ink, Paper

**Author's Note:**

> Massive thanks to setmeatopthepyre for her help and advice when I was writing this!

Half an hour before opening time, Amanda found herself alone in Rowdy3, wiping down the bar after restocking the glasses. Gripps and Vogel were supposed to be on shift but she knew her friends well enough to know they wouldn’t turn up till the very last minute, and Martin was outside enjoying the last few minutes of quiet with a cigarette.

The sound of the front doors opening and slamming shut filled her ears and she glanced up to see a blonde woman enter the bar. Without pausing the wide circles she was wiping into the wood she called over “Bar’s not open yet.”

The woman ignored Amanda, walking towards her without hesitation and stopping the other side of the counter.

Amanda finally stopped what she was doing and looked at the woman “Can I help you?” Whilst she was sure she’d never met the woman before, there was something familiar about her at the same time. She was tall, blonde and the black dress she was wearing fit her like a glove. On first inspection she looked prim and proper but Amanda also spotted the three studs in her ear, the hint of black ink on the underside of her wrist and she wore bright red lipstick like it was armour.

Her eyes narrowed at Amanda, leaving her feeling self-conscious. 

“So you’re  _ her. _ ” The woman dropped her purse down on the damp bar, flashing her perfectly pointed nails that matched the red of her lips.

“Okay, who the hell are you?”

“Shorter than I was expecting, pretty though.”

Amanda felt herself getting angry at the inspection she was being subjected to and opened her mouth to unleash a few of her favourite swear words in a row when she heard Martin enter the room.

“Liv?”

The woman grinned, “Hi little brother, long time no see.”

“Two whole years in fact.” Martin replied as he stepped up to stand beside Amanda. “Why are you here? Why now?”

Amanda wanted to know too. She had been vaguely aware that Martin had a sister but he didn’t talk about her much and Amanda never wanted to push him so she stayed a mystery. What surprised her was the woman re-entering Martin’s life now and not after the accident or the fire.

“Can’t I just miss my brother so much I just had to visit?”

“Two years Liv,” Martin reminder her.

“Okay, you got me,” She threw her hands up in the air. “I had to meet the girl that’s lasted the longest,” Her eyes flicked back to Amanda and she felt Martin sling his arm around her waist and tuck her into his side protectively. “How on earth did you get this one to settle down?”

“Liv,” Martin warned his sister.

“I’m kidding! I’m kidding” Liv rolled her eyes, “Look, I still need to settle in at my hotel, why don’t I come back later and we can eat together, you cook Amanda? Fantastic.”

Before either Martin or Amanda could say anything, Liv had spun around and headed for the door.

She looked at Martin with panicked eyes. They both knew her cooking extended to ramen and Kraft Mac ’n’ Cheese and not much else. Martin was able to cook a steak perfectly but burnt pretty much everything else. They mostly lived off Chinese, frozen pizza and toast. 

“I’ll get the takeout menus,” Martin squeezed Amanda’s side reassuringly and slipped away from her. She heard the familiar sounds of him climbing up the stairs to their apartment.  

“This explains a lot by the way!” Amanda shouted after him.  

* * *

The first thing Amanda did was call Cross up to cover her shift and then went into full panic mode. Dealing with family was completely new to her. All her previous relationships hadn’t lasted long enough to meet relatives apart from one guy who she had seen for nearly a year but he was French and thankfully his entire family had been an ocean away.

Even though Martin’s sister wouldn’t be re-joining them for a few hours, Amanda couldn’t rest. She wanted to make a good impression. As she ran around the apartment tidying up their shit and making it look vaguely presentable, Martin had disappeared downstairs and Amanda was convinced he was trying to avoid her.

She nearly jumped out of skin when Martin appeared from behind suddenly. “I really didn’t know she was coming.”

“I know,” Amanda believed him. She had seen the look of surprise on his face when Liv had appeared out of nowhere. He still looked guilty anyway. “Hey, you had to deal with my idiot of a brother and we’d barely been going out then. I think I can handle your sister now.”

He didn’t look convinced and it certainly didn’t make Amanda feel any better about the upcoming family dinner.

* * *

Amanda sat at the kitchen table wishing she was drinking something a little stronger than beer. There was a heavy weight in her stomach from the consumed Chinese food, Martin’s sister has been interrogating her thoroughly for the past hour and Martin had barely said a word.

Amanda had already been asked, in detail, about how her and Martin had met, how she had ended up working at Rowdy3, her childhood, family, friends and hobbies. She was honestly surprised that Liv hadn’t yet asked about their sex life.

“So Amanda, where did you go to college?”

Amanda gulped down the last of her beer, “I didn’t.” Liv’s eyes were judging her and Amanda felt herself needing to explain. “I wanted to, had the grades for it, but we just couldn’t afford it.” She shrugged. What little money had been left when her and Todd’s parents had died was used to live on and pay the bills, not to mention pay for a double funeral.

“What a shame,” Liv replied, her voice lacking any empathy.

“It worked out for the best. All my school friends are living with piles of debt.”

“Of course…but they’re qualified in something right?”

She was stuck between wanting Liv to like her whilst attempting not to get angry at the scrutiny she was being put under. Liv was clearly protective of her younger brother, but Martin was only enough to look after himself and certainly had down without Liv’s help for the last two years.

Martin hadn’t said much for most of the evening, which wasn’t surprising to Amanda, he wasn’t the chattiest of men to begin with. She liked that they could spend an entire evening curled up around each other and neither say a word, liked that when he did speak it was purposeful.

Liv finished up her own beer and pushed the empty bottle onto the table, “Another?”

Martin shrugged and flicked the beer cap he’d been fiddling with into one of the empty cartons, “We’re all out.”

“Oh come on,” Liv laughed, “You guys live above a bar.”

“She’s right, I’ll go down and pick up some more.” Amanda offered, sliding her chair back and slipping out of the room. She was only a couple of steps away from the kitchen when she heard Martin speak.

“You done?” His voice was surprisingly harsh and it had Amanda frozen to the spot.

“What?” Even outside the room Amanda could picture the look of innocence across Liv’s face.

“What the hell has she ever done to you?”

“Is it so wrong to want to make sure she’s good enough for you?”

“I don’t hear from you for two years but it’s okay for you to just turn up and start making judgements on who I choose to spend my life with?”

“ _ Spend your life with _ ?” Liv parroted, “It’s bad enough that you handed over half your bar on a silver platter.”

“So that’s what this is about…Mom told you.”

“Of course she told me! You clearly weren’t thinking with your upstairs brain when you made that decision…don’t tell me, it was  _ her  _ idea.”

“Liv,” He growled.

“I’m just trying to protect you little brother. You find her pouring coffee and she somehow now owns half of your business, little manipulative don’t you think?”

“Stop.”

“Look, I’m sure a lawyer could find a loophole, we can get you back in full ownership of the bar and-

“Liv, I mean it,”

Amanda could tell he was getting frustrated. Martin’s voice was getting louder. Amanda knew him well enough to know it wouldn’t be long before he blew.

“I swear she has you brainwashed or something.”

“You know nothing about her.”

“She’s using you!”

“She’s my wife!” Martin snapped.

Amanda’s eyes widened almost comically and tried to ignore the warm feeling in her belly at the  _ W  _ word she still wasn't used to hearing him say.

“What did you just say?” Liv’s voice was so quiet Amanda could barely hear her.

“We got married, Amanda’s my wife… so if you’re gonna be an asshole to her you can just leave.”

“You’re kidding right?”

Amanda stepped back into the room, revealing to both of them that she’d never really left, “I can show you the marriage certificate if you like.” She said softly.

She watched the realisation of what her and Martin were saying sink in. Liv looked at each of them in turn. “You  _ eloped _ ?” She said incredulously.

“City hall, three weeks ago.” Amanda answered.

“Holy shit.”

“If it makes you feel any better, you’re the first to know...apart from the boys of course, they were our witnesses.”

“Not really.”

There was an awkward pause when no one said anything for a long moment.

“I think I’m gonna go.” Liv grabbed at her jacket and purse.

“ _ Liv. _ ” Martin tried but she waved him away.

“Congrats by the way." She said, but it didn't sound like she meant it.

Amanda and Martin didn’t move as Liv brushed passed them both and let herself out of the apartment.

The unexpected end to the evening has Amanda feeling frustrated and tired. She hadn’t wanted her new sister-in-law to find out that way but she understood why Martin did it. They had both had to listen to Liv talking shut about her. She made a mental note to reward Martin for the way he defended her, once things had blown over of course.

“She hates me doesn’t she.”

Martin sighed, “C’mere.” Amanda stepped fully into the room and stood toe to toe with Martin, dropping her head to his chest. “Aint matter what she thinks, okay Drummer?

She lifted her head and kissed her husband.

* * *

**Three weeks ago**

Amanda was sat in the driver's seat of the van, waiting for Martin to be finished at the bank. She knew he hated having to talk numbers and meet with men in suits she had had picked up the supplies they needed and then diverted to a nearby café to pick up drinks for them both.

She was tapping a beat on the steering wheel with one hand, coffee cup in the other when Martin knocked on the window. She jumped in her seat, glaring at him as he slid into the passenger seat with a grin.

"How did it go?" She asked.

He let out a low groan, "Have I told you how much I hate the bank?"

"Many, many times," She reached into the space between the two seats, lifting out another paper cup, "Here, coffee... should still be hot."

He took the offered cup and smiled at Amanda as he took a sip of the steaming liquid. Amanda still enjoyed getting her boyfriend coffee, it reminded her of how they first met and she knew it reminded him as well.

"So, supplies are all in the back, got everything on the list, what do you want to do now?" It was still early in the day and the bar was closed on a Monday so they didn't need to rush back straight away.

Martin didn't say anything for a long time. Finally he looked at Amanda softly, a look in his eyes that Amanda wasn't used to seeing.

"What?"

His head pivoted back to towards the windshield and nodded towards the old ornate building across the road. The recognised city hall from local news articles but had never had any reason to step inside.

Amanda frowned, "I don't get it."

"This time of day, there ain't gonna be much of a queue to get hitched."

If Amanda had been drinking her coffee, she would have spat it all out over the dashboard. "Are you...are you asking me to marry you?" She couldn't blame the caffeine for the way her heart began to pound in her chest.

Martin shrugged, "What else are we gonna do today?"

"Didn't think you were the marrying kind." She teased gently.

He ignored Amanda's comment, "I ain't getting down on one knee."

Amanda didn't say anything straight away. It wasn't a conversation she ever expected to have with her boyfriend, she was more than happy with what they had and didn't need to get married to prove anything. But the idea of a spur of the moment wedding, she realised, was a thrilling mix of crazy and genius.

A grin spread across her face, “Fuck it, let’s get married.”

She jumped out of the van, chucking her coffee into a nearby trash bin. She heard the sound of the passenger door opening and being slammed shut and then Martin was beside her, arm slung over her shoulders.

Less than ten feet from the imposing double doors of city hall Amanda froze mid-step, “Wait,” she turned to face Martin, “We can’t do this without the boys.”

Martin nodded in agreement and pulled his cell from his back pocket. She watched him as he dialled a number and waited for the other person to answer. “Hey Cross? You and the guys have fifteen minutes to get your ass down to City Hall. Me and Drummer are getting hitched,” He hung up, not waiting for a response.

With barely a minute to spare the staff of the Rowdy3 barrelled down the corridor towards the waiting couple. Amanda heard them before she saw them, the commotion catching the attention of other people milling around and forcing people to jump out of the way to avoid being run down. The sight of Vogel, Cross and Gripps running down the corridor almost made her burst out laughing.

The trio stopped in front of them, huffing and wheezing from the sprint. “Shit guys, for a moment I thought this was a joke,” Cross said between gasps.

“No joke,” Amanda confirmed, “Judge is going to call us in any second, we couldn’t do this without our witnesses though.”

“Looks like we got here just enough time for a combined hen and stag party,” Gripps said, pulling a bottle of vodka out his jacket. “Best we could do on short notice.” He explained.

Amanda wasn’t sure if she wanted to know how on Earth he had got it into the building. Out of Cross and Vogel's pockets came shot glasses and Gripps quickly poured the clear alcohol into the offered glasses, not caring how much ended up on the marble floor.

Amanda was grateful for the liquid courage handed to her and the look in Martin eyes told her he was too.

“To Martin and Amanda!” Vogel led the toast. Shot glasses were raised in the air, clinked together and then the group downed their glasses in one go. Amanda felt the liquid burn down her throat and into her stomach pleasantly.

The judge had been at a slight loss for words when five loud, tattooed, leather wearing reprobates entered the small judge’s chambers. They didn’t exactly look like the usual wedding party, Amanda wasn’t in a dress let alone wearing white.

Amanda pulled Martin to the front where the judge was standing and handed over the form they had been asked to fill in.

“Have you got the rings?”

Shit. There hadn’t been time to think about rings. It was Martin who solved the problem of no rings, yanking off two rings from his right hand and slapping them into the judge’s hand. “These’ll do.”

In the end, Amanda wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. She wasn’t suited for big weddings with bouquets and speeches and poufy bridesmaids. She had all she needed: Martin, their friends and a piece of paper at the end of it which legally tied Martin to her forever. It might not be romantic to most people, but Amanda and Martin weren’t most people.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride.”

She wasn’t prepared for the kiss Martin gave her. His arm went around her as their lips met and the next thing she knew he was dipping her back. In the background she heard the boys cheering and whooping in celebration but all she wanted was for Martin to keep kissing her.

The judge kicked them out of the room eventually and they left in a troupe, not stopping until they were back on the steps outside.

She looked at Martin, unable to believe he was now her husband. “Fuck...we just got married.”

Hands on her face pulled her in for another deep kiss, “Regretting it already?” Martin asked.

Amanda shook her head, “Wondering why we didn’t do it sooner,” She said.

“What now?”

Amanda looked down at her left hand and the oversize ring belonging to Martin that was loose on her ring finger. “I’m thinking we need something a little more permanent than this.”

Martin caught on quickly, “Tattoo parlour is only down the road.”

“Ink for everyone!” Vogel cried and began the procession down to the parlour.

The Vodka was cracked open again as they sat in the waiting room, deciding what they would all have inked into their skin. Amanda and Martin chose different designs with matching elements to celebrate the day, Martin’s on his bicep and Amanda’s on her ribs. The buzz of the needle filled the air for the next few hours as they each took turns in the two chairs available. With new tattoos covered up and paid for, the group headed back to the closed bar for more alcohol and celebrations.

Amanda didn’t remember much when she woke up the next day, but she knew the rest of the evening had been good from the bruises sucked into her skin and the feel of stretched sore muscles. Martin’s arm was keeping her naked body tucked against his and his head was pressed into the nape of her neck. She could feel the warm air of his breaths against her skin and it left her shivering.

“Husband.” She found herself saying out loud, like she was trying out the word for the first time. It would definitely take a while for it to sink in.

She hadn’t realised Martin was awake and gasped when she heard him respond. “Wife.”

* * *

Amanda wasn’t working, but even on her nights off she normally found herself hanging out at the bar. The boys kept her entertained when it wasn’t as busy and she always enjoyed watching Wendimoor, or whichever band had been booked, perform.

She preferred to sit at the end of the bar, safe from the queues that built up and near to the back room so she could escape upstairs if needed. She certainly wasn’t using the ladies room for customers when she had a much nice bathroom upstairs.

Martin had noticed her finished glass and slid an open bottle of beer over to her without asking. She grinned at him and as she watched him walk away mentally added the moment to her list of nice things Martin did for her which earned him special rewards.

“Can we talk?”

Amanda spun around on her stool, surprised to come face to face with Liv. She was expecting another argument and felt herself straightening her back in preparation but there was nothing confrontational in Liv’s eyes and Amanda softened.

“Yeah, okay,” Amanda ducked under the bar, grabbed her bottle and a second bottle and gestured for Liv to follow her. She led Liv up to the apartment and then up the ladder to the roof terrace. Amanda loved the view of the city from the roof, especially all the blinking nights from homes and offices in the dark. “So?” Amanda took a gulp of her beer and handed the other bottle to Liv.

“Look…I’ve been doing some thinking since I left the other night.”

“And?”

“I’ve come to few realisations…three in fact,” Amanda stayed silent, letting Liv continue, “The first is this….Martin is a grown man and I don’t have the right to butt in like I did, especially not after being absent for so long, I don’t have the right.”

“He’ll be glad to hear that.”

“I guess I was overcompensating. I’m so used to playing the protective older sister and I thought he needed me to be that but he didn’t. I realise now that I should’a trusted his judgement of you, I knew you for all of an hour before I was accusing you of shit.”

“And the third?” Amanda asked softly.

“Not in a million years did I think that brother of mine would get married, so he must  _ really _ love you.”

Amanda couldn’t help the smile that crossed her face. “I really love him too you know.”

“Good, because they won’t be able to find your body if you ever hurt him.”

“Noted.” Amanda laughed.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she lifted it out to read the message from Martin asked where she was. She tapped out a reply, letting him know where she was, who she was with and to tell him to bring beer.

“That was the ball and chain, he’s on his way with more booze.”

Liv cackled. “Oh, please call him that to his face, I want to see his reaction.”

Amanda grinned and downed the rest of her drink.

“So, I want to hear all about it.” Liv pulled Amanda down onto a nearby bench.

“The wedding? There’s not much to tell.”

“Tell me anyway.” Liv insisted. “Was I really the first to know?”

Amanda nodded. “My brother is going to have an aneurism when I tell him.”

“Shit, and you thought my reaction was bad.”

Martin appeared at the top of the ladder, interrupting the conversation. The two women didn’t mind as there was a six pack of beer under his arm which he dumped in the floor. He looked at Amanda, studying her to make sure she was okay. She reassured him with a smile which seemed to be enough for him and he disappeared back downstairs.

“I always wanted a sister you know.” Liv admitted as soon as Martin was gone.

“Yeah?”

“I guess now that you’re married to my brother that kind of makes us family.”

“I guess it does.” Amanda replied happily.

 


End file.
